When old wounds come up
Old pain can come up
On any spiritual path, old pain can come up: fear, grief, shame, a body that will not settle, or a sense of being cut off. This is common, and it is not a verdict on you or on your path. Several teachers in this catalog say that recognising what you are does not by itself heal every old wound.
Finding steadier ground
When pain becomes overwhelming, it can make sense to come back to steadier ground before going further in: to steady the body, the feelings and everyday life. Isaac Shapiro asks what chance anyone has to notice finely while the nervous system is in survival mode. In plain terms, steadying can mean practising less or more gently, or pausing for a while; bringing attention down to the breath low in the belly; resting; and being with people around whom you settle. Sleeplessness, feeling unreal or cut off, or finding that ordinary life no longer works are good reasons to slow down and look for support. Sri Aurobindo asked for periods of rest in which experience can be quietly taken in, and warned against seeing them impatiently as a halt.
Where therapeutic work and practice meet
People who work therapeutically with early wounds describe some things that will sound familiar from contemplative practice. Patterns that once helped a person get through are seen as ways of surviving, not as faults, and are met with respect rather than force. Difficult feelings are approached a little at a time, moving between what is hard and what feels steady, and staying with what is happening now rather than reliving the past. Feelings are allowed and held, neither pushed away nor acted out. Thich Nhat Hanh describes something close to this when he speaks of embracing anger with mindfulness instead of fighting it. These are resemblances, not the same thing: therapy works with a person's steadiness and relationships, while the teachers in this catalog point to what one is beyond the person.
No fixed order
Teachers do not agree on the order. Some say recognition is open to anyone at any moment, whatever state they are in; others stress preparation first. Ram Dass saw no simple rule that a person must first work through their psychological issues before turning to spiritual life, and valued going back and forth between the two. So we do not suggest a sequence such as "first therapy, then awakening". A history of trauma does not rule anyone out of deeper recognition, and difficult experiences in practice occur in people with and without such a history.
Help from others
Help from another person can matter a great deal: a friend, a teacher who takes such experiences seriously, or a qualified therapist. Some teachers in this catalog recommend therapy or body-based help alongside practice, and Adyashanti notes that most spiritual teachers are not trained in trauma. Nothing on this page replaces professional care, and nothing here is a reason to stop a therapy or medication.
“just because you awaken doesn't mean you're going to get all of your psychological baggage taken care of through that insight.”
“there's no simple rule of thumb that you would say the person has to have worked through certain psychodynamics before they should go into spirituality.”
“First there should be sufficient periods of rest and silence, even of relaxation, in which there can be a quiet assimilation.”
“Recognise that this is how your system survived and honour it.”
“Meditation is not to turn yourself into a battlefield, one side opposing the other.”
If you are in acute distress or not safe, please use the crisis lines in the care box now.
If practice is making things harder
If inquiry or meditation leaves you frightened, sleepless, numb or feeling unreal, or everyday life becomes hard to manage, you are allowed to pause. This is not a failure and says nothing about you or your path.
Something simple can help: sit or lie down, breathe slowly, and let your attention rest low in the belly rather than in the head. Strong feelings come, stay a while and pass; you are more than this one feeling.
Talk with someone you trust, and with a teacher or health professional who takes such experiences seriously.
If you are thinking of harming yourself or do not feel safe, please contact emergency services or a crisis line now.
- Germany, TelefonSeelsorge (free, around the clock):
0800 111 0 111 · 0800 111 0 222 · 116 123
- Austria, TelefonSeelsorge (free, around the clock):
142
- Switzerland and Liechtenstein, Die Dargebotene Hand (always available):
143
- UK and Ireland, Samaritans (free, day or night):
116 123
- United States, 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call, text or chat, 24/7):
988
- Emergency number in the EU (free):
112
- Other countries, Find A Helpline (directory recommended by the IASP):
findahelpline.com